Touching fear

This nice bottle of chianti is a fine wine

Travelling down my thirsty throat


I try to tell myself because it is slightly expensive

That I’m not an alcoholic just a man who likes good wine


I feel uncomfortable with this groundlessness


Pema Chodron tells me stick with it kid

It’s the only way to freedom


And in my very being I know this is so

For I should stay inside this state of permanent

Confusion and wait yet I feel dark thoughts


Coming my way like a runaway train ready to

Be derailed


I am bored so I drink some more


I feel weird with my sacred space of Buddha

Singing bowl and Bible with my tiny icon


Of Thomas Merton in Zen pose

Feet crossed in lotus his left hand raised

In mudra his right hand touching the earth


With a thin smile on his lips


And in this heavenly hell I lash out with vile

Words to friends nailing them to their cross


Yet it is I who is crucified and

Outside children play innocent in the downing of the

Evening light.

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